Funny thing. With all of the talk about what virtual reality can do for the porn and sex industry, I haven’t really stopped to think of what it can’t do. With clever new integration of our beloved Oculus Rift and teledildonics, we will soon be able to give a virtual humping to damn-near anything we can think about; be it aliens, anime girls (yes please), animals from a different dimension (or this dimension), or your grandmother (provided you can procure enough pics of the sweet lady to construct a 3d model). We are seemingly only limited by our imagination, at least in most respects; but there are a couple of things that are still a ways off grasp, and as much as our perverted little parts may desire these particular deeds we will see no satisfaction in the VR worlds, at least not for the foreseeable future. While some of the most sought after and fantasized about sexual scenarios will be very awkward in Virtual Reality guaranteed, one of my favorite is so common-place it’s the last thing I would wish the would-be telesexual to be unable to achieve. The Threesome (or other variations of group-sex) will not be happening soon in VR, at least outside of watching them. Watching them will still be cool. Oh sure, I guess if a person really wanted to get creative you could always swap out your VStroker to loan your friend as he takes his turn with that cutie you just met on Kiiroo, but a woman (I really can’t see guys doing this but I’m sure it happens) will likely never be able to enjoy the feeling of full on double penetration (dammit) and if you weren’t using any sort of teledildonic device and were only using the Rift, the moment they step out of your field of view they might as well not be there anymore. Another difficult niche to cover will be Virtual S&M Unless somebody can invent some (likely to be unwieldy) strap on device that allows it’s recipient to feel a spanking when the paddle hits the pillow, or somebody attaches a Wiimote to a whip (imagine explaining that one to your new son-in-law) you’ll be SOL for fetching that light beating you’ve been anxiously awaiting all day, and you can forget about punishing your spouse while they are on holidays. So as much fun as it sounds It’s not likely that this family favorite will be dominating the VR teledildonic scene anytime soon. But if somebody were to make it work, I’m certain it would capture a lot of interest. I suppose that many of these issues could be solved with a sexy new neural-interface ala the headjack from the matrix series (only wireless, that’ll have the anti-rf conspiracy peeps buzzing about) but I would think we are at least a couple of years away from doing it full on borg style (for science!) and I would like to hope that things will be a lot less invasive once we get to that point. It’s unfortunate that we are still so limited, but we are making fast progress. Why just a year or two ago people were still using rubber and sticks to get themselves off, and now we have Novint Falcons and Hatsume Miku.
I can’t wait to see what comes next.