While nearly everybody on the planet has either heard of or utilized standard fair sex toys such as the dildo or the buttplug – assuming you are reading this on planet Earth that is -, and powered sex toys (vibrators, massagers, etc.) are now common place, the world of teledildonics (electronic remote controlled sex toys) still remains relatively unknown to the minds (and nether regions) of the average consumer. With this new age of Virtual and Augmented Reality now upon us however, these titillating tools are leaving their caverns of obscurity and are being welcomed with increasing frequency into the pants and panties of lustful lovers the world over.

So what are some of things that teledildonics can do that other sex toys cannot, and what are some of the current limitations of the tech that we would like to see overcome?

Well, for starters, teledildonics can allow multiple partners to be intimate across vast distances. With devices aimed at couples like the Lovense Nora and Max for example, two people can connect their devices over the internet and have long distance sex, with each toy reacting in turn to the motions of the other. In other words, if your partner plays with Nora and you are wearing Max (assuming you are a guy, vice versa if you are a female obv, unless you plan on wearing Max on your toe or something; which would be weird) you will feel the movements on your own parts as if you were actually together in person, or at least as reasonable an approximation as can be mechanically expected at this point in time. Motions can even be recorded and played back in sync with a matching video, so if you didn’t have time to cam “in person”, you could get things ready ahead of time and your partner could reap the benefits as if you were playing together! It’s not a far jump of the imagination to see how well this could all fit in with Virtual Reality a year or two down the road either!

Another benefit to long-distance intimacy is the safety involved on multiple fronts. A few miles between you is more effective than a billion condoms worn at once (if such a thing were even possible) for one. With teledildonics there are no STD’s to worry about, pregnancy wouldn’t be an issue, and violence or rape would be impossible. A cam girl could expand her packet of pleasures to include physical fucking without any of the risks that meeting in person would hold; and horny couples could hump to their hearts content without risking having a baby or worrying that being apart on a holiday or a long work trip would have to put their relationship at jeopardy for a lack of intimacy. Everybody wins!


We know what the deal is Kim. We know….

So now that we’ve nailed down a few of the pros of teledildonic tech, what are some of the limitations that being on the frontlines of such fanciful fornicating entails?

There are a few downsides that I can think of, but thankfully they aren’t many and aren’t likely to be a big issue unless you are living in a country or area that is electronically/communicatively compromised (like North Korea for example). First and foremost, in almost all cases these devices need either the Internet or Bluetooth to communicate; and while the latter isn’t likely to be a problem if you are in the same house as the other person(s), the former might be depending upon your situation and in most cases internet connectivity is what you will be wanting to use. At least in that situation (and if you are using the Lovense devices) you still have the aforementioned option of recording movement and playing it back however, so if you can get somewhere to connect long enough to exchange the required data you are golden, albeit a little less shiny than if connectivity weren’t an issue.

The only other downside I can think of is that as good as these devices are, they don’t yet feel like the real thing. While thrusting and grinding on one end might translate rather well to squeezing and vibrating on the other, it still isn’t a perfect 1:1 example (or even close really) to what things would feel like if you were doing the deed for real. That can be ameliorated in the future though with say some advancements in fake skin technology and adding things like heating and some new designs for motion-translation (perhaps something like that seen in the recently-announced Pornhub TwerkingButt device) , so have faith as we can only expect things to get better as we go along.

So if you are planning on taking a long trip away from your loved one, or if you just want to hump a complete stranger and be safe about it, teledildonics have got you covered. Let us know in the comments below what you think about these devices, and whether or not you have tried one and what your experience was if you have.

Happy Humping!

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