I had a conversation with a girl the other day that completely frustrated me. She keep describing the idea of virtual reality sex (or porn) as completely disgusting and inappropriate. Judge for yourself, but this how the conversation went (I’m paraphrasing from memory):
Me: Have you heard of Oculus Rift?
Girl: No, what’s that?
Me: It’s a new virtual reality device that allows you to play games in a virtual world, also great for simulated sex.
Girl: That’s nasty!
Me: What’s so nasty about that?
Girl: Anyone using virtual reality to “get off” is sick.
Me: How the hell does this make someone sick. Not everyone has a partner and for some people it’s not that easy to find someone to be with. They still have the same needs as everyone else, just not the same ability to find someone that is attracted to them.
Girl: So that makes it ok to jerk off to virtual sex robots online?
Me: I don’t understand what’s so wrong about this. Unfortunately some guys just can’t get a girlfriend, and although they may be great guys with good personalities, jobs and even money, most women won’t give them a shot because the may be considered a “nerd”.
Girl: So, they get out all their sick thoughts in a virtual world?
Me: I don’t really understand why normal sexual desires and needs need to be considered “sick thoughts”. These guys are no different than most other guys. The only real difference is that they don’t have a girlfriend or a wife to have sex with.
Girl: I just don’t think it’s normal.
Me: What do you consider normal?
Girl: A guy and a girl in a relationship with a healthy sexual relationship.
Me: That may be common, but it doesn’t mean enjoying a sexual experience online makes you a freak of society. Would you rather these guys keep their sexual needs all bottled up?
Girl: I don’t care what they do as long as they stay away from me.
Me: I give up….
The conversation didn’t end well and we decided to agree to disagree. What I really wanted to make her understand, which might have been impossible because it’s often hard for woman to understand a man’s sexual turn ons, was that some guys simply don’t have a partner to have sex with which helps fulfill their sexual needs. For these guys that find it difficult to meet woman something like immersive Oculus porn could be something healthy and sexually satisfying. As long as no one is being hurt, which seems like much less exploitation would be possible with virtual porn, nothing should be wrong with enjoying virtual erotica.
What do you think? If virtual porn sick? Should we be ashamed of masturbating to virtual 3d models? Does this make us sick?
You have good points, however, I feel that you started out a bit too aggressive. “How the hell does this make someone sick.”. You could have got rid of “the hell” and you would probably have had a bit more success.
Another problem is that you only really presented one argument, which was that not everyone can get a partner. Don’t get me wrong, it is a good argument, but you need more than that if it doesn’t convince.
Here are some of my responses to what she said:
Girl: “So that makes it ok to jerk off to virtual sex robots online?”
“Yes, because people are allowed to do anything they want during their spare time,
as long as it doesn’t affect anyone else. I mean, it won’t affect you in any way.”
Girl: “So, they get out all their sick thoughts in a virtual world?”
“I wouldn’t call it “sick thoughts” myself, but since you think so, isn’t it better
that they get out those thoughts in a virtual world, rather than the real one?”
Girl: “I just don’t think it’s normal.”
“It may not be considered normal, but that is because it is a new thing. Once or if
it gets popular, it will be considered normal, just like it is normal for a guy to
watch porn. You may think porn is nasty, but it is normal for men to watch it,
since most men do.”
Hi Katsu001
Points above noted and I agree with your approach. I’ve thought a lot about the conversation after it happened and I may react different if I face similar situations.
Thanks for the feedback.
J.
Nothing he could’ve said would’ve changed her mind. He was using thoughts, and she was using feelings.
It’s tantamount to trying to convince someone that they should like the taste of broccoli.
Some things you just have to give up on.
You also started on assumption that everyone who enjoy VR sex are single. It’s like saying everyone who enjoy watching porn are single (pretty much every man and a big share of women then). I’m not single, have great healthy sexual life and I enjoy VR porn 🙂 I just like to experiment. Interesting question would be, once VR sex, and VR in general, becomes more realistic, will having sex with VR partner be considered cheating?
I agree with Katsu that you were pretty aggressive in your statements. A better, more calm approach may have worked better. It’s also probably hard for someone (myself included) to imagine how the VR sex and porn will be. So I can see how it might come across that you are jerkin off to robots. haha.
Gregas, I totally agree that more and more men (single and otherwise) will be into VR sex/porn (myself included). At what point in virtual sex would it become cheating. I’m sure that won’t be an easy discussion with the gf/wife. lol. I can imagine if its not explained well that my gf would be similar to the girl Jesse was talking to calling me a freak and freaking out. That’s a new boundary for a lot of couples, especially with the Oculus Rift and where the porn/ virtual sex industry is going. It’s hard to say it’s cheating but what if a real women across the world is controlling a sex device to get you off? Hard to say that isn’t cheating? Or hard to say it is cheating knowing that there is no physical contact?
Gregas/Tomas, I don’t know if it is actually cheating, but I’m not sure couples may be too keen on their partner being active. Imagine, like Thomas said, a guy across the pond is bangin your broad through some teledildonics and she is doing it all the time with the same guy. She’s really just masturbating with the help of a virtual partner. So I wouldn’t say its cheating but I might not be that stoked. Women may feel the same way towards their guys…
This technology has the potential to bring couples together over great distances. It could be nice that you can share intimacy with a partner in London when you are in San Francisco. However, putting on your headset and tuning out your wife while holding a digital vagina seems like it would easily be considered cheating. I think technology is frequently seen in the eye of the beholder. Though your opinions were different, perhaps neither of you were right. In the end, intimacy is going to depend on the individual, and their preference.
It is definitely on the consumer to decide whether or not all of this new tech will be a good thing for them, or a bad thing.
I travel a lot for work so the ability to connect being away from home is something that is exciting for my wife and I… Waiting to see what comes of it but thought love palz might be one company to check out their toys which seem good. But I also saw that they had an indigogo initiative to raise 50k and they only had like 2k with 3 days with. Anyone try these toys? They have a nice site and looks legit but a little unassuring that they’d have such little support raising 50k? Anyone know anything or have tried any of their toys? Do they work? Is there better toys like this out there? Thanks
Lovepalz is the real deal and their toys have been available for some time now. Although I haven’t personally tried the Hera or the Zeuss myself, I know of people who have and they have good things to say about them.